Lie To Me
by SecretLifeOfAChemNerd
Summary: He could see everything, but not by choice. Sure, it could be useful at times, but being able to tell every time someone was lying wasn't all you think it'd be. It came with a cost. A big cost.


**So...this happened. I blame my speech teacher, who got me addicted to the show _Lie To Me_, which if you haven't seen SHAME ON YOU! It's amazing! But she showed it to us in class (what it has to do with speech I don't know, nor do I really care) and I got hooked. Ended up getting the first season for Christmas. And I was playing around with the idea of Kendall being a natural (if you don't know what that id don't worry, it'll be explained =)) and this...exploded out of me. I wrote it in like an hour and a half, so it might suck. But I prefer to hear your opinion of that! Enjoy!**

* * *

Lie to Me*

He could see everything. Not by choice. For the life of him he couldn't figure out why someone would want this. Sure, it could be useful at times, but being able to tell every time someone was lying wasn't all you think it would be. It came with a cost. A big cost.

He didn't have a choice. It wasn't even his fault he was like this. Like everything that was terribly wrong in his life, he blamed his father. Because when there's a person three times your size coming down the hall, drunk, and ready to beat the shit out of you, you have to learn quick how to read them and learn when they're going to strike so you can know when to run and hide and when they're just going to pass by innocently, like they would never even dream of doing anything wrong.

He had to learn, not only for him, but for his mom and Katie. He had to protect them, had to warn them when he knew his father was in a violent mood.

To his immense surprise, no one else saw what he saw. He thought everyone's mind worked the way that his did. He just assumed that everyone was as aware of the little ticks a person's face and body showed when they were uncomfortable or stressed. He thought it was just something everyone did. He didn't know he was special, he didn't know he had a gift.

And the next day when his dad would apologize and say he loved them, Kendall could tell he was lying, it was written all over his face. Everyone else may have believed that he was sorry and that he would never hurt them again, but Kendall knew better. He always knew.

And when everyone else he knew was shocked when his father left them when he was ten, Kendall couldn't help but think that it was about time. He had seen this coming for years.

He was also the only one who knew his mother was lying when she claimed she was fine two months after his dad split. Her smile wasn't real. The corners of her eyes didn't crinkle the way they did when the smile was genuine, but for her sake, he didn't mention it, knowing bringing the subject up would just hurt her more. He was the only one whoever knew that his mom never got over the bastard.

As the years went by Kendall couldn't decide whether his ability at detecting lies was a gift or a curse. Maybe people kept things from you for your own good. He didn't need to know how much pain his mom was still in. He wished he didn't know. Ignorance was bliss after all. But no matter how hard he tried to shut it off and not see what he naturally did, he couldn't. Every lie, every emotion was written all over their faces.

Sadness. Happiness. Surprise. Contempt. Disgust. Fear. Kendall could identify the emotions no matter if they lingered on a face for minutes or for less than a second. He came to understand that the brief, short, flashed of emotion that would flit accrossed the face where the ones he didn't want to see, but also seemed to be the ones he saw the easiest. Those were the expressions people were trying to hide. The ones they didn't want you to see. And god, why did he have to see all of them.

People hide their feelings for perfectly good reasons. They didn't want to hurt people, didn't want to say exactly what was on their mind, but Kendall saw it all. He saw the hurt flash past James' face when his parents didn't show up to the winter concert in sixth grade, the one James had a solo at. He told everyone he was fine and didn't mind, that he knew they were busy, but Kendall knew that was bull shit.

James' eyebrows had pulled together, his mouth turning down for the smallest of seconds when he looked out to see his parents absent, before the brave, confident face of future pop star James Diamond was back on.

He tried to get James to talk about it, but he claimed, falsely again, that he had no idea what Kendall was talking about. He could be stubborn when he wanted to be.

He didn't want to see the loneliness in Carlos' eyes when they all had to leave him behind, them going to the park while he trudged off to summer school. He had failed history their freshmen year and had to make it up the one time no kid wanted to be in school.

They were all worried about him, but Carlos brushed it off, in usual Carlos fashion, telling them it would be ok, and that he would find people to hang out during the long hours inside. That he would be fine and didn't care at all.

James and Logan quickly accept his forced smile, and shortened laughs, not even noticing anything was up, but Kendall, as always, saw right through it. Saw how scared Carlos was, scared of failing again, scared of being alone with no one all summer while his best friends had fun without him. Scared of being left behind. And that was the summer that Kendall spent making sure Carlos knew just how important he was to their group. That was the summer that he went out of his way to schedule hang-outs and practices when Carlos was available.

But more than anything, he wished he could not see just how much the bullying really got to Logan. Because no matter how hard the smart boy tried to pass it off, say it didn't bother him because Phillip and John were just idiots who felt so bad about themselves they needed to take it out of other people, Kendall saw the truth. Because words lie . . . faces don't.

It disgusted Kendall, the pain that came up when Logan's tormentors would throw names at him, just because he was smart and different. If only they knew how different Kendall was, then maybe they would tease him instead of Logan. Because Kendall knew he could handle it . . . Logan on the other hand, was not taking it well . . . not well at all.

Kendall never told his friends about his "gift" (if you could call it that). He didn't want them acting strange around him, knowing that even if they tried to cover it up, he would inevitably be able to tell. He did however, decide when they had just turned sixteen to adapt a behavior he called "radical honesty". He was going to tell the truth no matter how much it hurt people. No matter what awkward situations it caused. If he could see everyone else's thoughts, he figured it was only fair that everyone knew his.

And that was what ultimately made him stand on Gustavo Roque's table in the middle of his auditions to yell and sing at him. And that was ultimately what sent him and his three best friends to Hollywood in hopes of making it big and, (in Kendall's hope) to leave all the past drama and hurt behind them, to start over again in a new place where they could all leave their insecurities behind. A place where Kendall didn't have to see his friends hurting.

But like everything in Kendall's life, things didn't ever go the way he wanted it to.

James was the first to show the signs that the pressure of Hollywood was getting to him. To anyone else this would have been a surprise, seeing how James had been the one who wanted it the most, but to Kendall it made perfect sense.

Out of all the boys, James had the most to lose. This had been his dream since he was little. Sure, all the other boys loved performing, but in the event that the whole operation went south, they all had backup plans to fall to...everyone but James.

If this shot didn't work out for him, his dream was over, and he would go back to the small town in Minnesota he hated. Back to living with his parents who would never see him as the star he could truly be. Kendall knew the pressure on James was a hundred times what the rest of them was feeling.

He knew he should say something, offer James comfort, but he wasn't supposed to even know James was cracking. He shouldn't be seeing what he saw. It was unnatural and Kendall felt horribly for not minding his own business, never mind that he never asked to see any of this, he just never had a choice .

The second to feel the stress was Logan. His school work and the tricky choreography causing him to panic and stretch himself to thin. Trying to make everything perfect.

Logan was undoubtedly the perfectionist of the group, always making sure things met his standards before allowing them to move on. He didn't seem to understand that everything couldn't always be perfect. It was human nature to make mistakes, but every time he missed a move during dance rehearsal and Mr.X yelled at him for being incompetent his eyes would moved down and to the side, head bowed slightly, a look Kendall came to associate with shame.

The last to feel the heat was Carlos. His bubbly and energetic personality causing him to hold off the longest, but man when he fell, he fell hard.

And Kendall understood. There was just too much pressure and strain in this town for four sixteen-year old boys to handle. How did anyone expect them not to go a little crazy?

But what killed them the most was that, instead of talking it out like they would have in Minnesota, they kept the inner turmoil a secret, everyone putting on the same charade, not being able to tell the others cheery attitudes were fake. Even Kendall had given up his "radical honesty" policy for fear of what it would do to them, but he knew that if this went any farther he would have to say something, because they were all falling apart, thinking they were alone, not knowing everyone else was doing the exact same thing.

It wasn't until James stepped out of his and Carlos' room one day that Kendall knew today was the day it had to stop. Because all over the pretty boys face was one emotion. One single emotion that scared the shit out of Kendall.

Regret.

Deep regret. And with the way James was keeping his left arm awkwardly close to his body was all the evidence Kendall needed to confirm his worst fears. He didn't care if it was a one time thing, because he should have said something sooner. Should have stopped this when he first saw the depression sinking in on his friends. He was the cause of this.

He was supposed to keep everyone safe. He was the leader that everyone looked to when they had a problem, because he already knew what the problem was before they would even open their mouths, just by body language and facial expressions, and now, the one freakin time when he could have used his gift for something good, to preventing something horrible from happening, he had sat back and done nothing. He should have never discarded his "radical honesty" stance.

So he waited until they were back from the studio and all sitting around the couch, His mom and Katie off who knows were. He was just glad they had the house to themselves.

"James," He said, voice hesitant, knowing once he started there was no turning back. He was throwing them off an emotional cliff and hoping there would be something to catch them before they hit the ground. "I know what you did last night."

Kendall had to give it to him, James worked well under pressure, but he caught the slight widening of his eyes and the tight line his mouth became as he struggled to feign confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Logan and Carlos were wearing matching faces of confusion, but theirs was genuine, while James was faking it. Taking a deep breath, Kendall trudged on, knowing James would never admit it freely. "Roll up your left sleeve."

The command was soft, almost like Kendall was afraid of using too much force and making James crack. "What?" James' voice shook softly, it would have been inaudible if Kendall had not been looking for it.

"Roll up your left sleeve." He repeated, firmer this time, leaving no room for James to claim he didn't understand.

"This is ridiculous!" James said, growing angry fast...too fast. "I don't have to do anything!"

"You know, when people are really angry it starts out slower. They don't jump to straight rage, it builds steadily over the course of a few minutes . . . I know you're scared James, but you have to let me help you. I can't just stand by and watch you guys destroy yourself. All of you." He said, eyes moving to Carlos and Logan, who also showed small amounts of fear now, as well as some understanding as they turned their heads back to James.

"But...I...this..." James stammered, struggling for words, hopelessly stalling. But he wasn't going to win. He wasn't the only one who could be stubborn when he wanted to. Kendall wasn't letting him out of his.

Meeting the blonde's eyes, James sighed dejectedly, fighting back tears as he slowly brought the sleeve of his black sweatshirt up to his elbow, revealing several fresh, long red marks marring his tan skin.

Logan gasped and Carlos shook his head in his hands, looking away from the offending cuts, not wanting to believe they were really there.

James had a lone tear running down his cheek as he took in his friends startled expressions, except Kendall, who didn't look the least bit surprise. Guilty maybe, but not surprise. "I'm sorry." he croaked out, voice rough with unshed tears.

"It's ok James." Kendall said, looking in James' eyes. "I know you regret it."

A broken sob ripped through James' chest as he left his sleeve fall back in place. "I was being so stupid! As soon as I did it I wished I hadn't! I just . . . I just . . . couldn't take it anymore! It was all too much pressure."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Logan asked, looking like he was about to cry himself.

"What was I supposed to say? You guys all love it here. You all deal with the pressure fine. I just feel so weak!"

James laid his head in his hands, hiding his face from his friends, cutting Kendall off from reading his face, though his body language was telling him everything he needed to know.

Shame. Regret. Guilt. Worthlessness. They were all the things James was feeling. They were also the exact emotions Logan and Carlos were giving off.

"No one had been handling the pressure James." The pretty boy's head shot up to look at the blonde leader, disbelief coloring his features. "I'm telling the truth. Logan, Carlos, and I . . . we've been just as bad as you."

"You've guys have talked about this before?"

"No..." Kendall said, growing nervous now that his secret talent would have to be relieved. "I can just...well, I can just tell."

"You're not making much sense Kendall." Carlos stated in a shocked tone. He thought he had been hiding it well, that no one would ever be able to sense his discomfort by looking at him. Was he not as good as he thought he was?

"It's . . . complicated guys." Kendall took another deep breath before launching into an explanation. "Ever since I was little I've been able to . . . lets say, read people. I can just look at someone and know what they're feeling, or when they're lying. I can't explain it, but it's just how my mind's always been."

"Wow." Logan said. "You're a natural."

"A what?"

"A natural." Logan said, eyes alight with understanding that none of the other boys shared. "Theirs a small percentage of the population, less than .001 percent of people that have what Kendall has. I bet if you took the Deception exam you'd get almost full credit. Naturals are what they call people who can do that with no training in deception."

"How do you know this?" Kendall asked, shocked out of his mind that Logan knew all this information, but then again, it was Logan, so he should have known better. Kid was like a walking computer.

"I did a report on deception and Cal Lightman last year for school, he's the guy that created the test. He basically invented all the research on microexpressions and facial movements" Logan's eyes were fixed on Kendall in a sort of fascination. "I can't believe all this time, you've been a natural."

"Eh, yeah that's really interesting Logan, but right now." Kendall said, turning back to James "we have more important things we need to deal with." Logan's expression automatically sobered as he followed his gaze back to James, who seemed to be trying to blend into the couch and disappear from view. "Right now we need to fix what I should have fixed a long time ago."

Carlos looked up into James' eyes, seeing clearly the sadness the pretty boy had been hiding. It was the same thing he had been hiding. Cause they were all stupid, keeping everything inside like this. They were best friends, and shouldn't have to hide stuff this big from each other. He felt bad for not speaking out earlier.

Although his guilt was nothing compared to what Kendall was feeling. It was eating away at his stomach. He felt sick from nothing but pure disgust with himself. "This can't happen anymore." he said, speaking what each of them was thinking. "We can't keep hiding things from each other, and I can't keep pretending I don't see it when you're upset. So from now on, if you guys aren't going to mention it, I will. To hell with keeping this stuff a secret. It's too big to keep inside, and we can't do this to ourselves. We can't let it get this far again." his eyes lingered on James' arm, seeing through the fabric to the marks that lie on his skin, his stomach flipping with nausea. "And I'm sorry I didn't start this sooner. I knew...and I ignored it."

"You're not blaming yourself for this Kendall." James said. It wasn't a question. It wasn't a statement. It was a command. He wouldn't let him.

"Too late."

"Dammit Kendall, this," he said, pointing to his arm "this is my fault. I was being stupid and you're not going feel responsible in any way." Kendall shook his head, eyes downcast. The guilt rolling off of him tangible to all the boys in the room. "God, natural or not, you're still so stubborn."

"I learn from the best." Kendall said, looking up at James. He hadn't forgiven himself, not yet, but he figured he might get there in time. Especially if James kept pushing him, which he knew he would, since James was just a stubborn as him. "So it's agreed?" he asked, looking around at his friends "No more secrets?"

"No more secrets." They all repeated.

James even managed a small smile, sad, but there. It was a start. Carlos too looked better at the prospect of this whole "no secrets" plan. But Logan was chewing his lips. Kendall knew he was thinking. His eyes lids were fluttering and that was a dead giveaway. "What's wrong Logan?" he asked, concern laced in his voice.

"It's just . . . well . . . when I was doing my research for that report I did about deception I read an article about naturals, and . . . well . . . it said that a common pattern among naturals was that they were almost all abuse victims." Kendall felt like the air had left the room. It was the one major thing, besides his uncanny ability to read people, that he had never told his friends. It was the reason he was the way he was. It had made him like this. "Were you-" Logan said, struggling to find words that wouldn't upset Kendall.

"Yeah." He said, head down as everyone gasped in shock. "My dad."

That was all he was going to say. Relieving the memories at this point would be too painful. Even though it had happened years ago, they were still fresh in his mind. He still had nightmares about it.

"I'm sorry Kendall." Carlos said, reaching out to pat Kendall on the shoulder. Logan and James moved from their seats on the couch so they were all right next to each other.

It wasn't often that they all hugged. They weren't girls, and shows of affection weren't exactly their forte, but there was no shame as they all slipped their arms around each other and held on tight, not wanting to let go for fear of what the future would bring.

But they had each other, and no matter what happened that would always be true. Even if they all got sent back to Minnesota, they would all still be there, ready to support the others in whatever they did.

And even if they lied about how they were feeling, or tried to cover up a hurt because they thought it would be for the better, Kendall would know, and he wouldn't just let it slide by anymore. He wouldn't have more guilt on his back. What happened with James would never happen again, with any of his friends.

They weren't better, or fixed. Not yet. The healing had only just begun, but they knew with their best friends by their sides, nothing could go that wrong.

They could try, but their lies didn't have ground anymore.

* * *

**Yeah this epically spirally out of control. When I started it was going to be so different that this, and have to do with Camille lying to Logan and Kendall debating whether or not to tell him, but then the angst monster swallowed this story. And...I don't even know...so, if you could, ya know, maybe you could leave a review? Remember, Kendall knows if you're lying. I actually caught my brother in a lie the other day because of this show. It was hilarious. And I just have to say, I'm just going off of what I learn in the show. I don't actually know about deception detection any more than what they say on _Lie To Me_, so if anything is inaccurate, SORRY! =) Reviews make the heart happy!**


End file.
